Top 10 (Human) Movie Serial Killers

The definition of a serial killer by homicide detectives is typically three bodies all killed in the same fashion. Therefore, I think those on this list fit the bill a little too well.

I’ll start off by saying these are the human serial killers. Inhuman ones will be listed in another post later on. As a matter of fact, please suggest who you’d like to see on the inhuman list and I’ll be happy to oblige.

10. Jack the Ripper – Time After Time

I chose David Warner’s Ripper because I have a soft spot for Malcolm McDowell movies and Warner creeps me out. All malnourished and what-not. Plus, Time After Time has a little bonus originality added to it. Herbet Wells (yes, H.G. Wells–played by McDowell) is forced to track down his friend (Warner) after his time machine is stolen.

 

Once Wells finds out that his good friend is Jack the Ripper, he follows him into the year 1979. Subsequently he meets Amy (played by Mary Steenburgen), but that’s for another story. With buckets of blood and severed body parts, Jack the Ripper left his mark on more than one era.

9. Mickey and Mallory Knox – Natural Born Killers

Peyote trips, gore, snake bites, and Australian Robert Downey Jr. made Natural Born Killers an awesome movie. But these two runaway serial killers made the list because of their tweaked back story. Poor Juliette Lewis was stuck with Rodney Dangerfield as a slobby and abusive stain of a father.

 

But then she meets Woody Harrelson. And together, they kill Dear Old Dad and then decide to run away together. And murder people. Yep. Murder and rape follow them wherever they go. And there’s even a delightful little prison break at the end.

8. George Harvey – The Lovely Bones

There’s not much worse than a grown man with a desire to rape and murder children (see: John Wayne Gacy). The Lovely Bones was actually a novel before it was a film. I have to say the film did a brilliant job of showing the grief of a family after a death.

 

And the fact that the girl’s body is never recovered gives the viewers a sense of anxiety. But, the final scene did do her justice. George Harvey makes the list at number eight because of his sick obsession.

7. Ghostface – Scream

We’ve all seen at least one of the Scream movies. Who else jumped up and down when Drew Barrymore was gutted? Nobody? Was that just me? Oh well.

Anyway, I don’t have to tell you that Scream is about a masked murderer hunting teenagers. And it’s usually centered around poor Neve Campbell. Ghostface makes the list because the killer changes each film. And copycats are always creepy.

6. Henry – Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

Okay, so this one was based on a real live serial killer, but I had to add it because…Michael Rooker is creepy no matter what movie he’s in. Just look at him.

Look.

He just adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the whole movie. And I can’t think of anyone better to calmly hold a severed head than this guy.

5. Buffalo Bill – The Silence of the Lambs

The Silence of the Lambs was also based on a novel except the movie was actually better in many ways. Buffalo Bill is based on a hodgepodge of real serial killers.

A man who believes he was born as the wrong gender, Buffalo Bill hunts down women who are a size 14, starves them and then skins them to make a woman suit. Yeah, that’s not crazy at all. And it’s that kind of normality that give Buffalo Bill the number five spot on this list.

4. Patrick Bateman – American Psycho

Christian Bale you say? Yes, please. Christian Bale as a psycho serial killer? Show me where to sign (I have no idea what I mean by that)! American Psycho is one of those films I can watch a million times.

I never tire of seeing Jared Leto get axed or the prostitute hesitate before taking Bale’s dirty dirty  money. She already knew she was going to take it. She knew. Anyway, what the film does brilliantly is keep the viewer on their toes. Is it all in his head? Did he actually murder people? We may never know… Thus marks the end of my sarcasm.

3. Hannibal Lecter – The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Manhunter, etc.

Dr. Lecter makes the list at number three because he’s so damn calm and collected about his kills. That, and he’s so incredibly intelligent it’s hard to keep up.

It’s almost like his psychosis is…logically a part of him. Which is scary in itself. And the fact that he enjoys feeding his victims to other people when they’re none the wiser is just…just…inhuman.

2. Norman Bates – Psycho

Norman Bates just had to be on here. Psycho is a classic that will never get old. And I’m talking about Anthony Perkins not Vince Vaughn. Something about that guy’s dead stare and monotone voice. He’s an android. I know it.

Anyway, Norman Bates makes the list because Psycho is some good old fashioned crazy at its best. I mean, who makes mom into a puppet after she dies? Who?

1. John Doe – Se7en

Kevin Spacey! Kevin Spacey is always insane. Not always creepy, but always insane. Whether he’s an alien from another planet or your horny middle-aged neighbor, there’s always a touch of psychotic in those eyes. And John Doe proves that.

He’s out to tell the world that the seven deadly sins should be taken seriously, and kills one person per sin. But in the end, he’s the last victim (kinda). And he’s the last to die.

Did I miss a serial killer you’d like to see on a list? What inhuman serial killers would you like to see me talk about? I’ll even give you a shout-out on the next post!

Advertisements

Best (Or Worst) Horror Movie Quotes

A few years ago, I stumbled upon a poster of the 101 most famous movie lines of all time. The first thought was, “How can you whittle down so many amazing films into 101?” My second thought upon actually reading the poster was, “Who the hell wrote this? These lines suck!”

Half of them were not the most memorable quote from the film. In fact, I had never heard anyone quote them before. Which lead me to wonder what the 101 most memorable horror movie quotes are. I found a website seconds later.

The site it here.

I’ve scrutinized the list to the best of my abilities. There weren’t many revisions, but I did notice some films were left off the list completely. Among the lines that were either inaccurate or plain erroneous were:

97. Aliens (1986)

  • Ripley: “Get away from her, you bitch.”

Really? That line? I have a few more for you:

Aliens (1986)

  • Hudson: “Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?”  Vasquez: “No, have you?”
  • Hudson: “Game over, man!”

95. Army of Darkness (1992)

  • Ash: “Good Ash, bad Ash. I’m the guy with the Gun.”

That one I get. But there are so many more! Such as:

Army of Darkness (1992)

  • Ash: “Name’s Ash [cocks rifle] housewares.”
  • Ash: “Hail to the king, baby.”
  • Ash: “Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth.”

90. Carrie (1976)

  • Margaret White: “They’re all gonna laugh at you.”

Again, I have another:

Carrie (1976)

  • Margaret White: “Pimples are the Lord’s way of chastising you.”

83. Dead Alive (1992)

  • Lionel: “That’s my mother you’re pissing on.”

Another:

Dead Alive (1992)

  • Father McGruder: “I kick ass for the Lord”

 

79. Evil Dead II (1987)

  • Ash: “Groovy!”

Forget it… There are way too many good quotes from Evil Dead II.

77. The Exorcist (1973)

  • Demon: “What an excellent day for an exorcism.”

A few more:

The Exorcist (1973)

  • Demon: “That’s much too vulgar a display of power, Karras.”
  • Father Merrin, Father Damien Karras: “The Power of Christ compels you!”
  • Karras’ Mother: [to Karras] “Why you do this to me, Dimmy?”

60. Ghostbusters (1984)

  • Dr. Peter Venkman: “We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!”

I’ll give you that one. But this one is also good:

Ghostbusters (1984)

  • Dr. Peter Venkman: “He slimed me.”

57. Gremlins (1984)

  • Murry Futterman: “Goddamn foreign TV. I told ya we should’ve got a Zenith.”

My fiancé pointed out another great line from Gremlins:

Gremlins (1984)

  • Kate: “Now I have another reason to hate Christmas.”

14. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

  • Barbara: “It’s been a funny sort of day, hasn’t it?”

Really? That line?? What the hell ever happened to:

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

  • Multiple: “You’ve got red on you.”

09. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

  • Clarice Starling: “If you didn’t kill him, then who did, sir?”    Hannibal Lecter: “Who can say. Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere.”

Did we just forget about:

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

  • Hannibal Lecter: “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

The following films were not even included on the list, so I thought I’d take it upon myself to give them an honorable mention:

Alien (1979)

  • Ripley: “Micro changes in air density, my ass.”

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

  • HAL: “Just what do you think you are doing, Dave?”
  • Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

What are some of your favorite horror movie lines? Do you think the site needs to include more or was misquoted? I’d love to know your thoughts!

House of Haunted Remakes

As a first post, let’s hit on something I find randomly nostalgic. House on Haunted Hill is a 1999 remake of a Vincent Price classic. It was also the horror movie that made me into the scare-seeker I am today. The very first horror film I could sit through and not want to run and pray to the porcelain gods.  I believe I was fourteen or so, and my brother had rented it for us to watch after school. I knew something was up when I saw that mischievous twinkle in his eye, the arched eyebrow (ala Ace Ventura–he did a killer impression), and the curled upper lip.

What I hadn’t planned for was a movie that would become a huge part of my life for years. I watched it over and over until I could recite each line of each character. I even wrote a short story about it later on, including some of my own characters that I made up. The film even inspired me into a short-lived career of paranormal investigation. Yes. You read that correctly. But that’s a story for another time.

houseonhauntedhill01

The resemblance is striking!

The film stars Geoffrey Rush as a business tycoon named Steven Price who makes a living building amusement park rides. But his biggest thrill is scaring the ever-loving hell out of anyone and everyone. Famke Janssen plays Price’s wife in the film. Janssen’s character seems like a perfect match for her hubby as her character wants nothing more than to have her yearly birthday bash at the most haunted location she can find. Thanks to Peter Graves, she finds an abandoned asylum on top a hill where the inmates one day rose up and murdered the entire staff.  A guest list is made, but after “mysterious circumstances,” four people arrive to the party who are unrecognized by both Price’s.

Understandably, wife is upset and hubby is only mildly-amused, thinking she’s pulled another of her odd tricks on him. Price decides he’d still like to have a little fun, however, so he takes down the names of the other four guests and promises them each $1 million if they can survive the night in the asylum. Once he explains this, however, an ancient mechanism kicks into gear, covering each door and window in steel plates. Everyone is trapped.

I won’t give anything away in case you haven’t seen the film yet, but it’s great for cheap scares and thrills. I wouldn’t say it’s the best movie out there, but it holds a special place in my heart. And upon re-watching it last night, I felt an odd sense of unease. And that’s possibly because my investigations into the paranormal have lead me into some questionable locations where I may have been victims like the characters in the film (without the $1 million, of course).

Either way, it’s not as great as the original film (which I also suggest watching), but it does its job as a decent remake by upping the horror and gore factor to a modern scale.

house-on-haunted-hill-poster-2

Is there another film you can think of that had a decent/bad/amazing remake? Let me know your thoughts.